Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My Miss America Journey - Post Event

I just returned home from Miss America last night ready to take on the next 6 months…it’s amazing what a really great night of sleep can do for a person! I am so happy to come back home and still have my job as Miss Minnesota.

Taking in the experience as a whole, I literally left feeling so exhausted--mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. In an effort to always be real and open with who I am and how I feel, I want to take this opportunity to speak from my heart and share my honest feelings. In short, I feel very disappointed. How could I not? I think the hardest part of the whole experience is not that I didn’t win, but that this dream I have spent years working for is now over! That was my very last pageant competition, which is so hard to believe. I felt confident about my ability to be a contender competing on national television, but God clearly had different plans for me. Though I don’t understand fully right now, I have complete faith I will at some point so I just need to be open to every experience and see what I can learn from it. One of the other difficult emotions I am experiencing is this feeling that I let down those who have supported me 100%. Fortunately, I know I did the best I could, and I do not regret anything, but it is admittedly hard to shake some of the sad feelings!

But, I can’t even begin to express what a great all around experience I had at Miss America. I am at home in my apartment and I keep asking myself “Did I really just compete in Miss America?!” It came and went in a blink of an eye, but I have returned from this experience with new friends and much more. I am more than ready to continue working hard as Miss Minnesota, planning new Night of Inspiration Concerts, and continuing to raise money for such a wonderful organization, The Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. My year is far from over, so I hope you don’t mind having me back! I look forward to what the rest of this year and my life holds.

I truly cannot thank you all enough for the many messages, cards, emails, prayers and thoughts! I felt a little bit spoiled for every time I went to my computer I had about 100 new facebook messages! This journey has been incredible and it wouldn’t have been without you. Thank you for allowing me to represent you the best I could; I am sorry the outcome was not what we hoped for! However, on a great note, I was really happy to find out that I received the non-finalist talent award as well as a new award for the highest scoring instrumentalist. Those awards mean so much knowing that my talent was recognized at Miss America. I am also honored that I was a quality of life finalist and, I believe, the third highest fundraiser for CMN. I have left this experience as a winner regardless of not receiving the crown I initially sought. Ultimately, I strive to hold the crown of our heavenly father and do his will…even if it doesn’t always match up with my own.
I will keep you updated with upcoming events! Blessings to you all and again thank you for following me and supporting me!

Love always,

P.S. Pictures will be posted soon!!

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